November 29, 2007

• Within Health Canada, I work in the Health Products and Food Branch, which is the equivalent of the FDA in the states.

  

  Within HPFB, I have worked in the BGTD and am now working in the MHPD.  I just got an offer for a four-month assignment to work in the Inspectorate.  Basically, my bureau is lending me to the inspectorate.  Working in the inspectorate has been my goal. I said that unless I get a job in the inspectorate, I will work in other cities / countries.  I am happy, but slightly lost because 1) I like my current director, 2) I am working on important projects here, 3) I need her to extend my term end of March although she might feel that I might stay in the inspectorate, 4) and that means I won't be living in other cities for at least another few months. 

  I am doing a preliminary screen on 180 out of 1009 applications to 5 positions the same as mine.  I better be grateful. 

   

  I have an enormous desire to really live life the way I want it to be.  Fear and craving for stability shouldn't govern people who already have stability (ppl who have the ability to afford what they want and sustain themselves, who live in first world countries with social benefits, who does not fear temporary loneliness, who has opportunities).  Whoever you are, I am sure you can fall back on teaching english somewhere in Asia, selling houses, taking extra courses and be a nurse etc.  The older generation usually agrees with my route so far and thinks that others are unrealistic.  I tend to believe that none of them will end up starving and being unhappier than the ones who are not following their hearts and dreams. 

  FEAR of WHAT makes you sacrifice your happiness. desire?  Disapproval?  Will you REALLY regret?  What do you really want now, at 40, and at 55?  Do you really need to stress over what you are stressing over?   If your fear doesn't make sense, it is paranoia, not fear.

  • 4:43 pm
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