July 16, 2007
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Advices from Others
PS: I was reading my initial entries on Xanga (four years ago) and found it to be more profound than what I write now. I was organizing things in my new pad yesterday and reading my diaries from 10 years ago and still found them to be pretty profound, with chinese better than what I can compose now. What is up with that? I am quite a geek in that I have all my diaries and photo albums since childhood in chronological order - both hard copies and electronic versions!
Friends are important in a way that their ideas put you back on track and keep you from being narrow-minded. I have been touching base with friends and relatives for hours since I got back. I would think that I have the common sense to figure all my situations out, but we need to have someone to remind you. You also feel that you are not alone that way.
"Who gives a fack what they are doing? You are totally independent." Inspired me of his situation - striving and having a good time in Asia despite of everything... Sometimes you need vulgar language to wake you up. -JC
"Why worry? You can take care of yourself / A person doesn't need much." Started thinking of the worse situation that would realistically happen to me - still won't be unhappy. -AF + DM
Worry about not learning at work / don't want to waste time in Ottawa (factoring in opportunity loss / not building self-worth)? Talk to HR! Invest in your interests. -DM
Never get jealoused of someone. You should be happy for others when they are doing well. If they are jealoused of you, they are not your friends. -cuzST, lesson from her mum
A profile reminded me to be all that i am and always strike upwards...
Stressed about the coming month. You got to put both your legs down... It is nice to be able to tell others about it. You know that you are not the only one who has gone through the situation, so you won't be in the self-pity mode. -MW and cuzJC
A blog reminded me that the road to success is always alone, and solitude is a reflection of life in disguise..
I also absorbed some advice on my current choices / situation.
In a way, we are all sharing our journeys. Never ever close your ears!
Nerds catergories..
When it comes to the word 'nerd', what would you think of? Most of my friends are nerds, but there are different catergories of nerds. There are ones with confidence, and ones without. Interesting, well-rounded ones, and the ones who are not. Shy, pleasant, harmless, lack confidence, but not articulate, incapable of dealing with situations. These people would have better relationships and careers if they have a better presentation of themselves. I know it is not good to stereotype, but but... I have met too many of this type. Confidence is the key and you have to earn it. It cannot be faked. Blowing other's self-esteem is contributing to someone's painful manhood. Plain cruel.
If our government approved same-sex marriage, will our society be more tolerant towards open marriages down the road? Just wondering if there will be polygamy in first-world countries in my lifetime.
Would you consider his/her parents (genetics, family education, background etc.) when considering his eligibility? Would you consider the future before even dating him/her or do you go with the flow?
Would you travel alone?
Comments (10)
From the wickedly evil to the most profound to the occasional pining... evolution perhaps? Or is it total "nerdism"? hehehe.
speaking of which... I need to brush up on my chinese for this thursday night (26th b-day banquet... how quaint -_-''').
When I first came to your page, i was very impressed that you managed to keep all of your posts over the years. I was able to follow your trails of thoughts til you came here. It was quite intriguing. But to this question of yours, what sparked the question upon this same-sex marriage?
I think our society is already much more open and tolerant towards these marriages already. I must admit, I personally didn't think homosexual people existed until i came here. But after meeting a few, i realized that they can be pretty cool people. Some can be a bit overwhelming, but the majority of the homosexuals that i've met aren't intruding at all. Except for that one guy i met at the club. ... (tell you that story later.. lol)
Would I travel alone? I think I'd rather travel with at least one friend. For me, it's the company rather than the destination that brings me pleasure. Maybe i'm just not too crazy about traveling and seeing the world.
would you ever want to travel with a friend? or do you prefer solo?
nerds aren't potrayed now the way they once were. It's not easy to spot a nerd or geek just on appearance. Sometimes it's even hard to spot nerds when they're talking.
I think people can fake confidence. It's often confused with cockyness as well. I find lacking confidence is good. When you think you are shit, not to be confused with the shit, you'll make yourself better. But when you think you are great you may not want to make yourself better, because you're already there. Take yourself down when you want to go up.
I need to start collecting wisdom from other people. It's such a great way to learn.
where do you think your next destination will be?
haha that's awesome, you have every long week end booked!
I'm turning 25 in .. err 2 weeks. I want to get married in 2009. So 1 year to get to know her, get engaged, and another year to plan the wedding. so now is the right time to meet her. anytime now.... maybe a high tolerance for having too much fun! haha :p
hey, this whole going with the flow thing totally didn't work for me. Man, i totally messed up this time... so i guess keeping the future in mind and actually thinking about what you're doing is still a good idea before dating them. lol
yeah... hence i'm still not married.. lol
Keeping a journal can be helpful in seeing how your feelings and thoughts change throughout the years. Friends are good to keep you balanced as long as one is not surrounded by those who think too similarly.
Nerd...Geek....are they interchangeable? I think of nerds and "coolness" on a spectrum. If you're doing something outside the norm that other people think they would like to do, you are cool. If what you are doing isn't seen as fun and maybe boring to the mainstream, that's the nerd area. Now of course there are plenty of nerds in the world, so among that group, you also have subsets of cool and nerdy behavior.
Confidence starts at childhood when your parents and teachers help you to believe in yourself, but ultimately, it must come from within. It comes with natural skill, or dedication, practice, and commitment. There are many forces in the world that can seek to rob you of your confidence, and just by being confident, you may be seen as a threat to those who aren't. On the other hand, confidence makes someone more attractive as well.
Open marriages won't happen anytime soon if ever for 1st world countries for the following reasons- religious opposition, and more importantly on a worldly scale is taxes. Those with marriage benefits enjoy tax breaks and other financial goodies that singles don't. You can be sure that big govt won't be looking to reduce their income down the road.
You date/marry the person and not necessarily the family. If two people hit it off and truly love each other, I don't believe family background should play a major role.
I'd prefer to travel with good friends or someone special, but can travel alone out of necessity. If there's someone I want to go and no one else does,....that won't stop me. =)
RYC: Advanced degrees can definitely be more lucrative in the long run, but I've seen that the grass may only appear greener when it comes to comparing high earning occupations. I make a good salary, but I've heard of some of my investment banker friends earning close to twice as much as me through bonuses. At first I thought I need to switch professions, but then I found out the hours that these folks were putting in..... 70, 80 hour hour work weeks and up with no OT. They get that OT paid back in big bonuses, but I calculated that on an hour for hour basis, my salary was quite on par with theirs. I consider time a much more valuable commodity than money and would prefer to work less- wouldn't we all!? =) The key is to make money work hard for you and to get comfortable with living on less than you make so you can put more money to work for you in investing. I have friends who spend more as they make more- once you take care of the essentials- food, shelter, clothing, transportation, you should still have some left for some fun and still be able to save. That is, if one doesn't place the word "premium" in front of all the essentials.
I agree that networking is an excellent way to go to keep your options/opportunities open.
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