Kind of wondering why I am trying so hard to improve on my french, when students in my class, from every single continent are speaking (different levels of) english before and after classes. You can get by in any 1st and 2nd world countries with english.. well maybe except in France.  The french can secretly speak english when you force them into a corner too.  It is already universal that people keep their language and use english to communicate outside of their nation.

It will make no sense if I don't stay in the government (and it is not like the quebecois can't speak english).. For interest, I suppose.  I just like learning languages.  It is the satisfaction of being able to converse in another language.  A sense of achievement, esp. when you can converse with people all night in teh language.

I am going to start a video blog on youtube +/- facebook.  I think starting a video blog would allow me to be in touch with myself and others.

This is something we should all read at least once a week!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. No point thinking over and over again.
 
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
 
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch, especially with your grandparents if they are still around.
 
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
 
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
 
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 

8. Treat people like how you want to be treated.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 

10. You are NEVER stuck in life.  You can ALWAYS get out of it.
 
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
 
12. It's OK to let your loved ones see your weak side.
 
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
 
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
 
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.  Think about this when you are taking life too seriously.
 
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
 
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
 
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger (when you are young at least).
 
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
 
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
 
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 
 
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to have middle-age crisis.
 
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
 
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
 
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
 
27. Always choose life.
 
28. Forgive everyone everything.
 
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
 
30. Experience, not time heals almost everything. Give time for experience.
 
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
 
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
 
33. Believe in miracles, but don't count on it.
 
34. You cannot please the whole world.  Many times, people don't care as much as you think they do.
 
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
 
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
 
37. Your children get only one childhood.
 
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved and lived.
 
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
 
40. Be content.  It doesn't matter what you have and how lucky you are if you are never content.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
 
42. The best is yet to come.
 
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.  You might feel better after you show up. 
 
44. Yield when necessary, but don't yield on the fundamentals.
 
45. Do things that will boost your confidence (not arrogant).  You should focus on being comfortable with yourself and others, before you focus on physical comforts. 

46. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

This is what a lot of quarter-lifers seek to have in their life nowadays. When we don't need to worry about survival, we pursuit happyness.

Now WHAT is happiness?  Happiness is a state you perceive yourself to be - only you yourself know if you are.  People might be jealoused of your youth, your money, health, education, friends, beauty, spouse, career, seemingly splendid life, your past, your perceived future, seldomly your present, but if you perceive yourself as unhappy and your chemicals and hormones are not cooperating, you are unhappy.  Besides the typical sad events such as death of family members, break up with spouse.. People can be depressed by other reasons that are not as easily noticeable and understandable.

Now how to be happy?  Firstly, don't dwell in the past.  No What-ifs.  No sliding doors.  No "I could have been a star" or "I could have married that guy" or "if only I stayed in NYC".  You don't know what the other road will bring you.  Focus on the future.  Have hope.  No comparing.  People say the most popular religion (zhong gau) on earth is comparing (bei gau) and sleeping (fun gau).  The only time you should study another person is if you think you can actively learn from him/her.  Be content.  If you feel that noone on earth cares about you, actively seek people.  Remember, you are never stuck in a rut.  You can ALWAYS change your situation, even after marriage, kids, onto your 10th year in your job.

What is fun? 

I need to think about this one.  This is just a blog entry I just came up with.  Cut me some slack.

What are true friends?

To me, these are the people who would drag you back when you are living in Thunder Bay, bail you out of jail, bring you out when you are down - Care about you and wish only the best for you.  They don't encourage jealousy, not self-centered, and they don't just pay lip service.  Can you think of friends like that?  It can be friends, can be family, can be your other half.  If not, it is never too late.  Time to find yourself some of these people.  Remember, treat others like how you want them to treat you. 

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Think I am going to start planning for my Dec25-March vacation.  Turkey, France (n Europe), Vancouver, Asia.  Splendid eh?  Let's hope that it will be as splendid as it sounds because that's a lot of money not earned at work, and spent living n travelling abroad, and I have been hoping for this vacay for the last 3.5 years.  Hope I will enjoy it.   Maybe I can have a better definition of fun afterwards.

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wilderness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul."

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Can't plan for my 3 months leave nor book tickets starting xmas until I know my interview results.. and IF they take me, I will have to decide on whether to take leave or get the position I like... *Distressed*

Interesting forum which hits home to many.  I want to read the book "4th generation" now, but after reading the many books I haven't read at home.

http://www30.discuss.com.hk/viewthread.php?tid=10927112&extra=&page=1

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Qui n'a risque rien, n'a rien!  <-- "Person who has risked nothing has nothing".  Go Marsha Go Marsha GO! 

If you want to get somewhere you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up. -Norman Vincent Peale

Common sense, but when I have ideas, do I follow it through?  Do you?

Summer Leave

So I stressed over planning for my 2 months leave in the summer, and then I gave it up because two weeks ain't enough to plan for that, I kind of like the feeling of being paid, the 2 months salary is substantive, my desire to leave public sector has subsided a great deal since I heard ppl in my field working from home, H1N1 being prominent, summer is too hot, pops wouldn't meet me in Asia at this time, no time to coordinate trips in Europe with people, got scared by pops that I will be depressed alone in foreign land after a while, supervisor doesn't expect me to take any leave in the winter after this.

So, I will take a week or two this summer (Cuba and maybe France), and then maybe a month in Dec/Jan to Asia.  The job thing, I am not sure if I am ready to give up Public Service. 

Reading MoneySense

Money is a funny matter.  It gets 'funnier' for a person living in the Canadian capital, raised with semi-asian values.  I see people around the world stressing over money, judging people by it, hurt themselves and others to accumulate as much as they can no matter how much they have. I should have a picture of a dollar sign on facebook and let people tag themselves onto it.  The joy money brings must be enormous if people will do so much for it?  They say it is for glory, if not for survival.  I will have to add Fear into the equation.  Fear of not being able to survive, and fear of being judged.

MoneySense told me that we only need 500k per couple to retire happily.  The rest of the money we make, is for glory and for feeding your fear.  I myself don't find it that glorious.  Besides, the people who will judge me by how much I have, will be dead by the time I could be rich.

Are we just being used by our society which instill these mindsets?  instill these fear?  eg. The more money people makes, the more expensive the houses are.  So is the key, try to out-work your hardworking neighbour?  I feel fooled.  Dang it, my two months unpaid vacation...   15 ounces of fear away from being a free soul.

Human have needs and expectations, unless blind-folded.  Can you live your life blind-folded?

My first stock : BAC, Bought - 6.02, Sold - 8.40.  Happy dance~

It went as low as 2.xx due to fear of nationalization. Stocks, a play on human emotions! 

Will buy again when it gets lower.