Hormones in your 20's.

We search for a mate, someone to have our children with. Socially we have fun, focus on our looks, get an education, find a great job, buy fancy clothes, join a health club and become buff. We do whatever it takes to become attractive to the opposite sex. We might be doing all this for cultural reasons, but above it all, it's for reproductive purposes.

On the outside our social development defines our behavior, on the inside, our hormones are protecting us from harm. Heart disease , cancer and strokes are not part of the 20 year-olds' vocabulary. If they occur, they are rare. This great health is due to the fact that our hormones are watching over us. They have created a protective bubble around us. They keep us immortal. We have a goal: The Perpetuation of the Human Species- to fulfill, and our hormones will make sure we achieve it.

At this time in our lives, most women get pregnant. This event reveals a clear picture of how hormones operate. When we are pregnant we are protected from harm: our estrogen and progesterone levels are sky high. We don't get sick, we just glow. We gain weight and we don't have problems as a result. Our bones get stronger, our hair gets thicker, and skin is wrinkle free because our increased levels of hormones are protecting us.

High estrogen stimulates bone production, synchronizes heart function, washes away cholesterol deposits from our arteries, stimulates serotonin production that keeps our spirits high. High testosterone stimulates muscle cell growth, protects our heart cells from toxic damage, and maintains our metabolic rate at a high level where we don't get fat or sluggish.

Our 20s are a joyous time. Beautifully synchronized, our hormones keep us vibrant, healthy, and ready to reproduce. And that we do. In our 20s most of us start our families and have children. But while we usually sail through childbirth and its aftermath without a hitch, occasional problems arise. When they do, we are left baffled and without answers or worse yet, with the wrong answers.

Hormones in your 30's

We have found our mate, started a family, and hormonally-speaking are on automatic pilot for the next fifteen plus years. Some of us have no children, others have one or more and our hormones follow the changes set by the presence or absence of pregnancy. While busy raising the family Mother Nature wants our species to thrive and survive. This simple fact translates in a fairly constant hormone balance with rare glitches in the system. Our periods are fairly regular, we maintain our weight, we sleep well and look young and are still full of energy. Because it takes our offspring a minimum of 15 years to become self-sustaining, our hormone balance and the state of our health has to parallel this timeline. Scientifically, hormones will continue protecting us for the 15 years we need to raise the children. Emotionally and economically our society has extended the time our children need our support. But even from that standpoint eventually our children become self-sufficient. They do grow up. By the time they're off to college, starting their own search for a mate, or beginning a career, they leave behind not only an empty nest, but a hormonally drained parent, who is now 40-50 years old.

During our reproductive years, we are healthy. We stay healthy because the high levels of sex hormones we produce, protect us from illness.

Even though most young people are healthy, statistically speaking, and wellness is the rule, the system is not perfect. Identifying the imperfections in our hormone balance that occur during our youth opens the door for us to protect ourselves from aging as we get older.

Hormones do not protect us from ALL harm. Like a computer system, the human body does crash on occasion. The hormone balance gets thrown off even in the healthiest of people at the peak of their youth. When the hormone balance is off, we experience symptoms. Not every young woman will experience symptoms of hormone imbalance, but many women will at different times in their lives. Our ability to manage our own menopause, with its significant hormone deficiencies, requires an understanding of the concept that episodes of hormone imbalances occur regardless of age.

Hormones in your 40's and 50's

Depressing matter of aging

Lately I feel old, and perhaps for the same reason, I looked at old pictures back in University.  It has been 6 years since Undergrad.  It seems that life has always been revolving around a dog and a person, and then a cat and a person.  One word for these years would be - simple.  In relationship, more education, job search, gov't, achieved the highest level of stability and guarantees...  I looked at pictures when I was 19, 21.. So young, so happy, yet not knowing it.  Have I changed?  Not really, besides perhaps I can't sleep as late, not as vibrant.  All of a sudden, everyone around me tells me that I am going downhill.  Time is sneaky and cruel.  Time is just - everyone has similar amount of youthful time, and you owe it to yourself if you find it unjust. 

Over the weekend, it saddened me when I saw celebrities aging and all of us pointed that out.  I hate it when I watched movies on life stages (Up in the Air).  At the hair salon, the stylist told my friend that she needs to grasp the concept - we are losing our youth and the only thing we can grasp is something we can take home.  My cousin and friend both told me repeatedly that I need to eat better, sleep better, and do more exercise because I am going to fall apart very soon.  While I was wondering how people deal with this matter, my cousin and I talked about our mothers' obsession with aging. 

She doesn't find older people ugly.  They are just at different stages in life. 

"That look is a look when one is in her 30's, that physique is the physique of a 50 year old." 

People should all think like that to be comfortable with their age, look, and health.  The world will be a much better and happier place.

The truth is, youth will always be an indication of reproductivity and ability to care for the young.   A young body will always be more attractive to the society and healthier.  It is up to you as to whether you accept the inevitable aging process - how you look at it, and how you deal with it.  Your 40's can be happier than your 20's, if you have the right attitude.

In theatres near you May 27th

Alice in Wonderland

The red queen asked, "Would I rather be feared, or be loved?".  I personally know people who would rather be feared.  I think they either have self-esteem issues, very bitter, or they are insecure control freaks.  For me, love please.  With a certain amount of love, it comes fear of hurting or losing you.  With any amount of fear, does not come love.

Would u rather be loved, or respect?  There is respecting them as a person (which can be reminded and forced because the society requires us to do so), and there is voluntary respect, which you genuinely respect the person.  Parents can love kids without voluntary respecting them.  For many, it is difficult to love without both basic and voluntary respect.  Relationships with love but without respect are owner-pet (or doll), or parent-children (both ways) relationships.  Love does not automatically come out of respect, but respect is almost essential to have for one to love.  Respect, however, must be created by the quality, character, presentation of the person and the milestones he has set, and does not necessarily involve love.  One cannot assume that they co-exist at all times, but it is certainly nice to have both. (but then again, who said one needs respect to be influential?*)

*Political heroines Vs. AV Girl 

Political heroines such as Joan of Arc, 秋瑾 (Qiu Jin), Laura Secord etc. could not command the same level of motivation and services of men as an AV girl did.   秋瑾 wore men clothes, courageous, educated, intelligent, spoke japanese, had her own publication, led the revolution party, did what women wouldn't dare to think of.  Before 秋瑾 died, she said that for a revolution to be successful, blood has to be shed.  This AV girl just have to show some flesh, and hackers took one day to break the chinese firewall to watch porn.  We all know how strong the Chinese firewall is.  Taiwan Independence, tiananmen square etc. sites, no hacker ever broke the firewall.  秋瑾 should have understood her people.  To have the power to reunite people to revolt, you need to be an AV girl.  Who said one needs respect to be influential?  Before empowering women, please fix this problem of men. 

My Aunt took the effort to scan this for us. We all wondered which cousin she was targetting. Anyway, cleaning my work computer n don't want to waste her effort.

I wonder how Mr. & Mrs. Kay (his wife?) followed their heads and became columnists (Are they above poverty line?).  I surely hope that Mrs. Kay won't be telling us that they have kids in her article because we are led to believe that Mr. Kay doesn't follow his heart.

Mimetic Desire

We borrow our desires from others (we called these people 'model'). Far from being autonomous, our desire for a certain object is always provoked by the desire of another person  for this same object. This means that the relationship between the subject and the object is not direct: there is always a triangular relationship of subject, model, and object. Through the object, one is drawn to the model, whom Girard calls the mediator: it is in fact the model who is sought. René Girard calls desire "metaphysical" in the measure that, as soon as a desire is something more than a simple need or appetite, "all desire is a desire to be"

What you have becomes your neighbour's desire. The more wants are satisfied, the more wants are born.  But the idea of mimetic desire is psychologically searching of the human condition in highlighting an inner self-discontent from which the ego seeks to escape through acquiring objects that symbolise a more idealised state of the ego that is distinct from the true persona. Whilst mimetic desire can be construed positively, for example in seeking to emulate the character qualities of another and not the persona of another, mimetic desire is more usually associated with less admirable mimetic desires that perpetuate a cycle of discontent and a gnawing undermining of self-worth.  This can be seen everywhere (but more prevalent in places like Asia, big cities..) - LV bags, nice cars, luxury houses in a recognized area, fame, spouse.  I'm not against it, just raising awareness here. 

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Two similar peas in a pod.   Thinkers are more capricious and unstable, and therefore they need a stable, simpler person to stabilize things and to support each other in life.  They don't want another complex person to pick on his/her thoughts.  Two worry worts, two practicals, two extroverts, two survivors, two fishhead eaters, for example, do not guarantee compatibility.

When I got home from my long vacation, I saw that one of my three cactus has 'finally' turned yellow.  I was actually happy that it has finally died.  Why?  Did I not plant them, gave them soil, and laid little rocks on the soil 3 years ago?  Did I not water them sporadically?  Why have I wondered every time I water these plants whether they are dead?  My thoughts really scared me.  Why do the cactus get worse treatment than the ivy and others when the others in fact need more maintenance?  Is it because cactuses don't change, has no indication of life and requires such low maintenance?  Did I just want to see them change and if not, they might as well die?  Can you imagine this on human?  Die die die!!  I am bored of you!  It does tell me that perhaps couples can't always be the same and leave each other then and there.  Couples need to be able to revive relationships, improve on themselves in order to continuously impress each other once in a while.  Do you agree?  I treated it so bad, and it still enlightened me.. 

什么是细水长流的爱情？

天长地久的爱情是在你心中，只要你真心的付出，执着的追求，勇敢的牺牲，天长地久的爱情就是你的爱情。如果你爱对方，那么你会因为对方快乐而快乐，因为对方幸福而幸福。无论是婚前的热恋中,还是婚后的平淡生活中，只要你是真的爱对方，只要你为了你们的幸福生活而努力付出，那么天长地久的爱情就在你的身边。
不是你拥有了天长地久的爱情，而是你创造了天长地久的爱情。
相信自己~只要有爱，幸福就一定会存在~

We rarely hear chinese fathers express their love to their children, or tell them what they have done for them.  Yet we all know that they have cared and will care for their children and will do anything for them.  That goes for the children too.  This girl has to secretly take this picture to keep this moment alive forever.  I will always be by your side, if you let me.  Please be strong, and happy... but please tell me everything.

Here I toast to all responsible, loving parents.  We don't need to wait till occasions to treat them for meals, or get them a gift.  MOST parents (mothers usually want more) just want you to give out minimal time (but extra gestures go a long way).  Call them more often and listen to their theories for the 100th time, buy newspaper and groceries with them, attend to their needs more, try to make their lives happier.  It will never be a fair deal, we can only try to 報答 their lifetime hard work.  (those who are looking for a good investment shouldn't be parents b/c it will be a lifetime of calculations and agony) Parents, spouses, and children represents our past, present and future and they are equally important.  Next time when you give your gf the tenth compliment of the day, or tenth gift, or tenth day of the vacation, think of your folks. 

In debt, Someone's daughter 

PS: This is the song I will use to brainwash my children if I decide to have one one day.  Everyone listens to Jay, even kids in 10, 15 years.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E0HKGFoBFs

 

肉,是生命的一部分。
沒有肉體，靈魂永生不滅，但仍無生存過的痕跡。
肉是永恆唯一的証明。

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慾，是中國人最恥於談的，但最樂於做的。
中國人，就是口不對心。中國人是含蓄的，也可以說是表裡不一。

不敢講「我愛你」，但是敢做「我愛你」。

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欲,和做是一回事。
欲勤卻惰，欲真卻偽。
沒想做的，卻做了。

想做的, 卻不會做。

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地獄，. 天堂，傳說是人死後會去的。

與其不停害怕會下地獄，不如想想如何避免令世界變成地獄吧。

始終，自私者多，怕死的人多；怕別人死先的少。

 

It is cliche to say that we create our ideal world.  Yes, you have some influence, but if you are Obama in Texas, chances are it will be harder to convince people than if you are in Chicago.  There are places which make it easier to create your ideal world.  There are always countries, subsets of cultures, sports group, interest groups which favours a person more.  Perhaps even places where "you are awesome by waking up everyday" (cousin's quote).  I always feel bad for people who don't find these niches for themselves, and complain about life.  I am not born proactive nor extroverted either.

In years to come, if I am seemingly doing well and seemingly fortunate, please don't be jealoused.  I have made many difficult decisions, and sacrificed many things and time to get to where I am.  If I am seemingly (more) unfortunate (than what you think I deserve), please cut me some slack.  I don't need your condemnation nor pity, for I was given and have created many opportunity for myself to make conscious decisions, and that's what it matters.  I had the opportunity, and I made a wrong decision and messed up, but it won't be for long...   That or perhaps I haven't messed up at all. 

Echoes of the Rainbow is a 5 star movie.  It is a true story of the director's youth.  I have always liked the power couple's films.  The director is from school of my male relatives, the publisher (director's wife) is even my mother's classmate.  The actress, my school. The film revolves around Sham Shui Po (poor area) and DBS.  Cool.

I really like the film, but it seems that the older generation, doesn't like it as much as our generation.  They say that it is nothing special besides nostalgia, but we think that it is exotic and interesting, yet resembles part of our culture.The people in the 60's put the *post-80's to shame.  The 60's is the time when people are willing to give out unconditionally, and are the most hardworking.  They do not complain about hardship, instead, they find solutions collectively.  They are content as long as their family is healthy and stable.  Without their conscientiousness, we wouldn't have today.  

*Post-80's is a term used to describe people born after the 80's who have a sense of entitlement to everything, without working for it because their parents have done everything for them.  They are considered to be unhireable because they cannot be scolded (else they will quit or even file grievances).  They are also known as the "ME" generation or Generation Y.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkT8AGviGdI

沒有經歷過難關，怎會珍惜快樂的時光呢？人們如果平淡一輩子，又怎會分出喜樂之別？ With riches and progression, we have replaced some of the precious sentiments, life appreciation, simple unrequited love and positive survival energy with independence, selfishness, complication and indifference. 

Here, I wish everyone will have the spirit of the 60's to discover and strive for what they value in order to have their own fulfilling, successful, happy life. 

I also wish that HK ppl can continue to be the conscientious race that we are, and continue to find ways to counter sickness, economically crisis, and international / mainland competition.  Long Live bauhinia!

PS: I want to watch Ip Man.  I think most kung fu masters (Wong Fei Hong, Ip Man - Bruce Lee's master etc.) originated from my origin -Fo Shan (Fud Shan) area?  Maybe I should learn Kung Fu.  lol.