可以輸, 但是不可以放棄... I can lose, but I cannot give up.
I am known to be easy going, to go with the flow... If I am uptight, it has to be on something that would royally screw me over.. but people here thinks that I should chill. Gawd wait till they go to an Alpha city. Then there is this girl who dated a Lexus owner and was called a gold digger. He said he drives a luxury car too - a Camry. I told him I grew up in these cars too and also half the chinese population drives Lexus and Benz and Beamers in Vancouver and not to mention Hong Kong. Many people here are also extremely frugal and insular even if they earn a decent salary. Of course, vanity, capitalism, lawyers, are also widely hated. I am also known as unvain and unmaterialistic, nope the opposite here. I don't think materialism make a whole lot of sense either, but owning a Coach bag does not equal high-maintenance. Noone even uses Coach in big cities. If I ever tell them my city life, they will think that I am crazy or am lying. I felt so good in Toronto last weekend with like-minded people. Man if everyone has the Ottawan mindset, the country will be in flames. I enjoy being in a city where beauty, a drive, worldliness and things that define who I am to be appreciated instead of hated. Clearly, it is a duck speaking to a colony of penguins in Antartica. Clearly, I will never be able to totally blend in unless I go through a massive brainwash session. Ottawa is screwing with my head. I have been living on my own for 2 weeks, and I have already developed a new found hate to the night and day cultures. How could I have lived here for 4.5 years?
I do like the family-oriented culture and nice people here. I'll bring that with me, but I am NOT going to go through this massive brainwash and subscribe to their set of mentality to basically hate myself. I am NOT going to forget about the past, what I am able to do, change my lifestyles and live a tougher life than required. I am not THAT stupid. ARGHH.
Waited for HR for 2 weeks, and she referred me to another person. I am asking to get onto the list to be transferred to my homecity. In the meanwhile, I will take a year off. I just don't know where and whether I should go to the city to look for a job, or get a job before moving. It is a lot easier to find something when you are in the city - networking. I know how hard and how slim the chances are when I just send in my resume like the other 1000 applicants.
OK now, time to be happy! happy!
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