PS: I was reading my initial entries on Xanga (four years ago) and found it to be more profound than what I write now.  I was organizing things in my new pad yesterday and reading my diaries from 10 years ago and still found them to be pretty profound, with chinese better than what I can compose now.  What is up with that?  I am quite a geek in that I have all my diaries and photo albums since childhood in chronological order - both hard copies and electronic versions!

Friends are important in a way that their ideas put you back on track and keep you from being narrow-minded. I have been touching base with friends and relatives for hours since I got back. I would think that I have the common sense to figure all my situations out, but we need to have someone to remind you. You also feel that you are not alone that way.

"Who gives a fack what they are doing? You are totally independent." Inspired me of his situation - striving and having a good time in Asia despite of everything...  Sometimes you need vulgar language to wake you up.  -JC

"Why worry? You can take care of yourself / A person doesn't need much."  Started thinking of the worse situation that would realistically happen to me - still won't be unhappy.  -AF + DM

Worry about not learning at work / don't want to waste time in Ottawa (factoring in opportunity loss / not building self-worth)? Talk to HR! Invest in your interests. -DM

Never get jealoused of someone. You should be happy for others when they are doing well. If they are jealoused of you, they are not your friends. -cuzST, lesson from her mum

A profile reminded me to be all that i am and always strike upwards...

Stressed about the coming month. You got to put both your legs down... It is nice to be able to tell others about it. You know that you are not the only one who has gone through the situation, so you won't be in the self-pity mode. -MW and cuzJC

A blog reminded me that the road to success is always alone, and solitude is a reflection of life in disguise..

I also absorbed some advice on my current choices / situation.

In a way, we are all sharing our journeys. Never ever close your ears!

Nerds catergories..

When it comes to the word 'nerd', what would you think of? Most of my friends are nerds, but there are different catergories of nerds. There are ones with confidence, and ones without. Interesting, well-rounded ones, and the ones who are not. Shy, pleasant, harmless, lack confidence, but not articulate, incapable of dealing with situations. These people would have better relationships and careers if they have a better presentation of themselves. I know it is not good to stereotype, but but... I have met too many of this type. Confidence is the key and you have to earn it. It cannot be faked. Blowing other's self-esteem is contributing to someone's painful manhood. Plain cruel.

If our government approved same-sex marriage, will our society be more tolerant towards open marriages down the road?  Just wondering if there will be polygamy in first-world countries in my lifetime.

Would you consider his/her parents (genetics, family education, background etc.) when considering his eligibility?  Would you consider the future before even dating him/her or do you go with the flow?

Would you travel alone? 

London

I lived in my Uncle's house with my dad, sis and her mum right in the heart of Kensington. We, however, had to obey the 9pm-no-light house rule. They are kind relatives, but man I will never live in their house again!

Everything in London is so expensive. Any house is over a million pounds. The cost of living is around double of Canada, but the quality of life can be rather good if you have enough money. For instance, their grocery store (the one next to where Matel lives) sells food that is way nicer than the ones in California. The weather is just like Vancouver's.

Londoners seem to be more serious and gentlemanly, and are as helpful as most North Americans. A tad nicer than New Yorkers. The older generation is pretty set in their ways. You should have seen the pitiable look they (esp. my uncle and aunt) gave me when they hear my vulgar north american accent, hear me talking about my parents etc.  Jeez, whose prime minister is following whose orders now? The family friends I met, they have a strong concept of social status, still. I like them, but they got to get with the time. They got to know that Dubai exists and that Britain doesn't own half the world anymore.

I/We walked around, visited my dad's cute residence back when he was studying, University College London (where he studied), King's Cross's 9-3/4 platform, British Museum (they have stolen/bought so much from all over the world! A day is not enough!), Westminister Abbey (lots of marble coffins of royalties and statues), Tate Britian (paintings reminded me of how cruel and superstituous our human history has been), Tate Modern (love it - half an hour before flight, so only saw the exhibition on the top 10 growing cities in the world), Victoria and Albert Museum, and renewed my passport (my excuse to go to London)... Did I mention lots of ChinaTown?

I also got to spend a night with my cousin Stephanie. I have never really talked to her b/c she left HK when I was four. Though I have never gotten that 'buzzed' before, I enjoyed our night out. Too bad she ditched me the night before I left. We went to Wholefood's (the nice grocery store) for Oysters and wine, then Kensington Place in Notting Hill, then a life music place, then her BF's place b/c I was too 'buzzed' to be shown to relatives.

Athens

Due to the delays caused by the terrorist attacks in London and Glasgow, I arrived in athens at 4:30am.

I visited the Acropolis when I got up, had my first local gyro, walked a souvenir street, and took a speed ferry to Santorini.

It is all marble on the Acropolis. Actually, it is marble all over Greece. I visited the Parthenon, the Dionyss' theatre, the echinesis (sth like that), but the museum is closed! You can see it from everywhere, but when you get up there, it is not that big. How did so many ppl live up there during retreats?

The pictures have been uploaded!  http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2089965265

The new seven wonders!  http://www.new7wonders.com/index.php?id=633&L=0

My Current Line of Business - Cat herder

Happy day - Simple laughters and niceness brought to me by coworkers.

I am heading to London June30th-July8th. 

I am planning to move about alone quite often eventhough I'll stay with my uncle and dad's family.  I am planning to do a few bike trips, and check out cool local places.  Not much have been planned b/c of the recent move and visitors, but I'll decide before diving all weekend.  It seems that noone is left in England.  Boo...

1) Paris, Lyon for 2, 3 days perhaps.  My french tutor told me to visit her family there. 

2) I was thinking of the Contiki Mykonos resort in Greece with less time in london and no france as well... 

House

I moved into an environmental building last weekend.

I am still watching the market to buy for investment purpose / fun / to avoid paying rent even IF I will leave.  It is likely that I will buy in Westboro area.

Building houses have been one of my dreams since a tender age. Some people's dream would be to have watched the Stanley Cup, World Cup, NBA award and Olympic medals being given out before they die. Is there something you want to do before you die?

The Limbags

The Limbag siblings are siblings who worked for the Tung siblings (father's siblings).  After a decade of no contact, S.Limbag friendstered me thru her sister's account.  To me, S is someone who spent everyday (9-13 years old) with me and went thru a time with me when I felt the most lonely.   We updated each other, and I learnt that she wants to quit Italy's job and work in Canada!  Last I saw her, I said that she can be my nurse when I become a doctor.  Uh-oh.. Wouldn't it be cute if your babysitter takes care of your children one day?  I bet you can save the interview part. 

My last piece of advice

from my manager the day she left is as expected.  She told me that I am working WITH FD and if she ever insult me, I must report to the director.  The day after she left, my director told me that I will be working FOR FD for now.  uhhh....  I'll have to see for myself.  I am working with quality systems and projects management in the Business Transformation Section.  If you want to transform ppl's business, you are saying that their way is wrong and you want them to do extra work.  You will get resistance.  All of that will be on my shoulders now.

We all have a basic need for acceptance and approval by social groups," says Orville Gilbert Brim, author of The Fame Motive: A Treatise on its Origin and Life Course. "If it's not satisfied, if a person is excluded either in infancy, childhood or, in many cases, adolescence, this frustration becomes the source of a motive or a desire to become famous."

Put another way, fame "offers the possibility to transcend what you have been given as your lot in life," says P. David Marshall, author of Celebrity and Power: Fame in Contemporary Culture.

Consider Marilyn Monroe. In her unfinished autobiography, the foster child turned cultural icon wrote of her fame, "I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anyone or anything else."

For Monroe, and those who share her background, fame offered a sense, real or not, of belonging and mass acceptance. And while anyone can be driven toward celebrity, people from poor upbringings can find fame to be an alluring way to fulfill some otherwise unfulfilled need.

A survey conducted by Syracuse University professor Carol M. Liebler and Jake Halpern, author of Fame Junkies: The Hidden Truth Behind America's Favorite Addiction, found that teenagers who described themselves as often or always depressed were more likely to believe that becoming a celebrity would make them happier. And what's more, teens who described themselves as feeling lonely were also more likely to believe that fame would have a positive impact on their lives.

According to Halpern , money once filled this void--or at least, it appeared to fill the void. Consider the classic Horatio Alger rags-to-riches story: Redemption was found through financial gain. Today, Halpern says, it is fame rather than fortune that offers the most dramatic and resounding form of redemption.

"In the past, it may have been difficult to become rich, but theoretically anyone could do it, whereas it seemed more unrealistic to even think about fame," he says. But in today's YouTube culture, where everything from reality TV to a MySpace page can launch a career, it is no longer entirely impractical to think that fame and celebrity is attainable.

James Houran, a clinical psychologist who researches celebrity worship, also argues that growing up with limited means not only motivates but actually fosters the imagination and ultimately fuels one's drive for fame. "Because you don't have a lot of action figures or princess dresses to play with, you tend to get very creative," he says. "You have to make due with what you have, and that kind of feeds the resourcefulness part of that ambitious personality."

But exactly how those stars who have elevated themselves from rags to riches handle their fame depends on several things, including how quickly they attain it and what kind of support system they surround themselves with once they have it.

There are those who achieve fame and become overly generous, explains Houran. The way he sees it, these folks came from nothing and are therefore driven to do their part.

Among his examples: queen of all media Oprah Winfrey. Having spent her early years poverty-stricken in rural Mississippi, Winfrey later faced sexual molestation and the death of her child as she aged. Today, the chat-show host is as well known for her generosity as she is for her fame. Buying cars for everyone in her studio audience or funding a $40 million school for girls in Africa are just two of Winfrey's many do-gooder acts.

And then there are those who achieve fame and become very indulgent--quick to meet not just their every need but their every desire.

"In many ways, they announce their success with the items that they buy," explains Ellis Cashmore, author of Celebrity Culture.

This may explain the behavior of New York City-born rapper Sean "Diddy" Combs, who moved upstate as a child after the murder of his father. Today, the hip-hop impresario has evolved into a celebrity, in the truest sense of the word. And while he does his part for charity, Combs has never shied away from the luxuries that fame affords. Let his numerous houses and million-dollar soirées serve as evidence.

But the irony in all of this, according to Brim, is that fame doesn't provide the sense of belonging that its seekers long for. Quite the opposite--it leaves many who attain it feeling empty.

"You think it will make you feel loved, approved of and accepted," he explains, "but in fact, the desire for fame is insatiable."

Nothing really happened in my short stay in Vancouver.  I hung out with my cousin Kat, stayed at home, walked the night market, hung out with friends.  The usual.  The houses there look so much nicer and newer than the ones in the east coast.  The neighbourhood too.  The weather is better, the shops too.  

For the Asian circle in Vancouver, I feel that it has a max of 4 degrees of separation.  UBCers = 3 degrees.

I am going to skip at least 3 weddings this summer.  The first one is my friend's brother, b/c I had to leave for my flight.  The second one is K's coworker's jewish-indian wedding b/c I will be in Europe.  Third being my friend's wedding in Vancouver.  *sigh*  I feel worse skipping weddings than classes.

It is all "friend marrying my long time friend's best friend's sister" or sth similar.  I miss that aspect of Vancouver.  I miss the network and I miss the warm, genuine people in college / highschool years.  It makes you feel that you belong to that city.  HK has such an effect as well - The overseas crowd at least.  I guess that's what make a city your hometown.

Now, what does Marsha work for?

Marsha is staying in Ottawa, gaining both work experience in the public service, and experience living in a truly canadian city. Living in a bilingual city is a good way to improve on her french (besides dating frenchmen). She is working for the above experience to increase her worth, and a better salary, to spend and to save. The money will be contributed to a house (short-term goal), which will in turn almost guarantee her with a certain aspect of happiness, satisfaction, stability, financial security, and the opportunity to acquire more financial stability, freedom and power in the future. Outside of work, I am working on improving and maintaining my relationships.  PS: I would want experience working in a bigger city next.

For Xangans still clueless on what you would work for, don't worry.  Ideally, we will know before we choose the job, but that is not always the case and priorities change.  Nothing that I planned ended up happening.  I made an effort to make my plans happen, but something better always came up.  Relax~ 

What makes you happy?

Different things make different people in different places happy. Some cultures measure the magnitude of one's happiness by the magnitude of their houses. Growing up in a capitalistic asian city, I was taught that it is the amount of money they make or the level of success in their career. I have also heard that it depends on how gorgeous and great their spouses are, how much fun they are having, how popular they are, how spiritual his family and himself are, how much of a difference he has made in the world, the quality of the people around him. The consultant whom I am working with, told me that he is so happy he can cry working freelance in Health Canada. For some men, all they need is hockey and video games.  For me, my happiness is dependent on the quality of the people around me, and how much I have achieved without losing an arm or much youth. By knowing that, I need to live life to the fullest.  Meet some new faces, and be in touch of old friends would help. Ce n'est pas facile quand tous des colleages ici ont des familles. Peut-tu etre mon ami Ottawan?

I have some major expenses this month: The $1600 2 month phone bill left from Cancun (Mexico ain't US alright. I was expecting it to be a 500 max). Monthly rent of the new place. It's relatively expensive but its just built, chic b/c of the neighbourhood, 1st environmental building built in Ottawa and it is 4 blocks from my work building.  Also have to pay for the trips to Vancouver earlier, and London + Greece in July. Not to mention my UPSed unassembled electric bike. OMG~! Good that I don't have a car or need to buy anything else.

What do you work for?

My manager is an environmentalist.  She just got a job related to greenhouse initiatives.  My coworker is a marine biologist at heart.  She is now working in the marine.  The list goes on.  Are you working in a field you are interested in, or does your job help you reach for your goals?  If your answer is NO, like the majority of the population, what do you work for?  Money to fulfill certain needs, fame, charity, recognition, car, house, avoidance of sth negative, improved quality of life, build your career, stability, family, freedom?

You give a little love and it'll all come back to you~~

2007 Stanley Cup Conf. Final series matchups

EASTERN CONFERENCE:                             WESTERN CONFERENCE:

(1) BUF vs. (4) OTT                                              (1) DET vs. (2) ANA

Read this a few years ago.  See if you fit this cohort.

Being Twenty-Something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with
the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get
scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest
people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they
are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find
yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with
dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe
you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why
you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and
talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem
to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.